Eating, Boxing, Sleeping, Boxing, Boxing, Boxing, Boxing!

As I mentioned before, I've started going to amateur boxing class. Starting this was no easy feat. Although I've been going to fitness boxing classes for some time now, walking into an amateur boxing class with fitness boxing skills only really helps a little bit.

Admittedly (and I conjured up all these feelings in my head) for the first time I felt disadvantaged my my gender. The majority of the class is made up of men most of which have fights under their belt. Who on earth am I to walk into this class?! So the first class I hid for the majority of the time in the bathroom then didn't acknowledge anyone and just punched the bag for 5 rounds and ran out again (are these traits indicative of some kind of personality disorder?...should I be unveiling these on the Internet?). The second class (I say class, I wasn't really participating in the class, I was sidling in while pretending I wasn't actually there, wasn't I!) went much the same. I sent my brother an essay (via text msg, the most convenient way to send essays) about my insecurities/anxiety/madness and once again his wise words of encouragement pushed me to talk to the class trainer on a personal level because the trainer is quite shy. Huh!? I thought I was the shy one! So 'continue I shall' I thought to my bruised ego.

The third class however, I ran into another girl that goes to the fitness class (giant exhale of anxious relief into the universe of exercise) and although she and I have never really crossed paths before, we were able to partner up and do a bit of touch sparring and I'm now (internally) eternally grateful to her because her bold, confident personality has allowed me to be able to talk to the trainer and be part of the class, rather than standing on the outskirts.

I've now met some really cool people and my initial anxieties are fading (gradually). For motivation I've been watching women do gloriously strong things. I've been watching this on repeat...what incredible women!

In reflection, it was never about gender, because everyone in the class has shown me that its not about gender, its about showing up, giving it a try and being open.